We may disappoint each other
making friends with ourselves and eachother
You know that moment when you find a friend?
It’s one of the sweetest parts of life, isn’t it? I want to tell you about a new friend I made.
After exchanging smiles and nods in retreat, we met for a walk by the ocean, ending up in it. Swimming to the Sun, we dove under the waves like carefree little girls, bouncing like whales, giggling away!
As we talked we discovered mutual resonance and delight. Our respect for each other’s competencies grew, and our connection deepened. Soon we began dreaming about how our expertise could weave and serve our missions- could we lead people on pilgrimages to India? Co-lead retreats?
And then amidst the excitement of synergy, midway through a conversation, a familiar feeling came over me- the remembrance that like all relationships, no matter how sweet our soul connection, it will need help translating in/through our human hearts. So I took her hand and said something like:
”New friend, I am excited to know you better and see what we might make together in the world. And I want you to know, that I am a still growing human being. I have my defenses, I get angry and judgy and all the things. I promise at some point we will disappoint each other, but when that happens, I will be be there to work through it.”
I watched her face change, her body soften. Tears came. She said something like-
“Oh. I also have my defenses. I also get angry and judgy. You named it. That’s what keeps me scared of getting close. My fear of disappointing others, and being disappointed. Thank you. Yes. I’m in. It’s what I want too.”
We hugged, relaxing into this inevitable truth.
Isn’t it what all of us want? To be accepted as we are, to have good company through thick and thin? Yet I’ve seen so many relationships end when they touch what’s tender, crumbling under the weight of our projections and judgements.
In a world where you can unfriend or swipe left, we often cut what can be untied, and it hurts us all. Because we rarely get good templates for how to stay in relationship in the face of tension and hurt.
While most of us experience our bumps as hindrance, they’re actually the path itself. We can count on disappointing each other, but how we work through it is what matters. Relationships are designed to polish us, to soften our edges, to expand love and understanding. IF we know how to meet in that place. IF we say yes!
Healthy relationships grow with us. In essence- You be yourself and I’ll be myself. We’ll support each other on the way. If I need to go away for a bit, I’ll let you know and come back. I trust our connection is bigger than this moment.
How we show up with and for each other in the most vulnerable moments makes or breaks friendship. Or for that matter, any relationship.
Forgiveness. Clear communication. Acceptance. Respect. Love. These are all foundational to thriving in relation. But the key to them all is understanding the language of our own bodies- showing us how we break, and how we can restore the connections we seek.
We’ll explore all this and more in the new BODY CLASS over 8 transformational weeks. It starts this May, and I’d love to have you there.
In BODY CLASS we’ll address the basic building blocks of relational health- not just what we say and do, but how, and where from. Somatics, energetics, relational dynamics, and opening into an embodied non-dual understanding of our very own Nature.
8 weeks, because that’s one whole mandala - a significant time cycle in which body rhythms integrate newness. In the way I love to teach- in consecrated space, spontaneously, experientially, directly, gently, humorously…
TO TASTE HOW WE WALK IN BODY CLASS -
Join us in Embodiment Lab April 27
In EMBODIMENT LAB on Relationships: April 27 we will discover what embodied presence makes possible in relationships, and how we can use the crucible of intimate relationships to deepen as/into Unity.
Bring your curiosities about relationships, Body Class and your openness to see and be seen deeply.
These monthly community gatherings are the most accessible way into my work. You can receive direct guidance from me, while also learning from some amazing beings who join us regularly.
Dear one, in these times, staying present and connected is more important than ever. Please share my invitation with anyone you know who would enjoy joining us.
Let’s keep embodying our Divinity, by embracing our Humanity. At least until we discover they were always One.
with care,
Ishita